In Honor of Women's Day

In honor of women’s day I wanted to honor the challenge of being a woman and mother with a bipolar brain. These are some of the questions that have haunted me for years:

Do I feel this shitty because it is depression or do I just have PMS? Is it hypomania or am I just ovulating and I tune with my body? Is it depression or did I just have a baby and am touring around the country on no sleep? Is it mania or did I just play the wedding of a famous person and meet some celebrities, so of course I’m buzzing!

But here’s what a kind therapist once told me: You can never really tease out the answers to these questions. When you’re bipolar you it’s like your mood seesaw is extra tippy, so a very light weight that may not affect someone else will trigger mania or depression for you and it’s harder for you to recalibrate.

For me that means it’s hard for my brain to maintain balance if I miss a meal or miss a nights sleep, miss a day or two of medication, etc. But knowing and accepting these things is really half the battle. Maybe more than half. Here’s to all the tippy seesaw brains out there!